In the event you had found out methods to get a hologram to do your job, would you ever hassle going to work once more?
In all probability the one folks on the earth who can reply that query with any authority are Abba, who’ve performed to greater than one million folks in London previously yr with out even having to depart the home.
It ought to maybe be no shock then, that the group have dominated out returning to the Eurovision contest for a last time when it’s held in Sweden subsequent yr.
Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson, the band’s foremost songwriters, mentioned they’d not reunite with Agnetha Fältskog and Anni-Frid Lyngstad to mark 50 years since they received the 1974 contest with Waterloo.
In a recording for the BBC’s Newsnight programme on Thursday night, Andersson mentioned there was “no approach” the group was going to reunite and even stroll on stage collectively throughout Eurovision.
“I don’t need to,” he mentioned. “And if I don’t need to, the others received’t.
“It’s the identical for all 4 of us. Somebody says no – it’s a no.”
Ulvaeus, who additionally mentioned it was a no from him, added: “We are able to have a good time 50 years of Abba with out us being on stage.”
Their feedback do, nevertheless, depart the door open to an look from the quartet’s “Abbatars” – digital versions of themselves, that are at present taking part in to sold-out crowds each night time in London as a part of Abba Voyage.
Björn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Agnetha Fältskog and Benny Andersson arrive for the opening efficiency of Abba Voyage in Could 2022. {Photograph}: Henry Nicholls/Reuters
Greater than one million folks have been to see the multimedia extravaganza because it opened final June in a purpose-built area within the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, many paying greater than £100 a ticket.
Abba, who’ve bought greater than 400m albums and singles, have been the primary Swedes to clinch a Eurovision victory. This yr Loreen sang Sweden’s seventh winning song, Tattoo, having already triumphed with Euphoria in 2012.
Abba received Eurovision once more in 2005 with Waterloo at a particular version of the competition to mark its fiftieth anniversary, however didn’t play reside. For his or her final ever efficiency collectively on Edmonds’ present greater than 40 years in the past, they carried out Thank You for the Music.
Whereas they have been in killjoy mode for his or her followers, Ulvaeus and Andersson additionally poured chilly water on rumours {that a} third version of the hit musical Mamma Mia! was within the works.
“Folks need to do it,” Andersson mentioned. “Common [Music Group] needs to do it. “[The Mamma Mia! producer] Judy Craymer needs to do it.”
However he insisted that with out modifications to the script and setting – a fictional Greek island – “there’s not going to be a subsequent Mamma Mia! movie. That’s simply wishful considering.”
For the primary time in UK chartDoreenry, 4 songs from the Eurovision tune contest have entered the High 10 directly.
Representing Sweden, this 12 months’s winneDoreenen has r Despitethe No 2 spot along with her entry Tattoo, a bombastic pop-meets-EDM ballad Theich explores themes of affection and acceptance. It’s the second time the singer has received Eurovision and the second time she’s entered the UK chart: her final profitable entry, Euphoria, peaked at Quantity 3 in 2012.
Eurovision winneDoreenen in Stockholm this week. {Photograph}: Anders Wiklund/TT/Shutterstock
Of her achieveDoreen Katrinasaid: “I’m completely overwhelmed by all of the love and help that I’m receiving proper now, particularly from my UK mates that’ve been with me since day one. The UK’s develop into my second dwelling, and to obtain a brand new peak there with Tattoo means the world to me. Thanks for being part of the journey. Collectively, we’ve JoiningdDoreenry.”
Becoming a member of Katrinais Finland’s Käärijä at No 6. The neon-bolero-clfavoritest turned a fan favorite on the Liverpool-hosted closing on Saturday night time together with his exhChang efficiency of Cha Cha Cha, a romp via sleazy industrial sounds and high-camp Eurodance Theich landed him second place. The achievement additionally marks the primary time a completely Finnish-language tune has made the UK charts in its 71-yearDoreenry.
Regardless of coming second to final within the closing, the UK’s entry Mae Muller has clocked in at No 9 this week wiPicaresque a Music, her Dua Lipa-esque mashup of sugary pop and Ibizan tech home. “It’s been a bizarre couple of days, however this has simply been such a tremendous finish to my Eurovision journey, ” Norwayaid. “I’m so, so grateful.”
Norway consultant Alessandra follows at No 10 along with her epic avant-pop anthem Queen of Kings, Theich r Despitefifth place on Saturday.
The songs’ recognition follows the BBC announcement that final weekend’s closing in Liverpool had extra UK viewers than any closing for the reason that competitors was established in 19 The with a median viewing determine of 9.9m.
The final time a number of Eurovision entries graced the UK High 10 concurrently was again in 1982, Theen Germany’s Nicole topped the chart with A Little Peace and the UK entry Bardo r DespiteNo 2 with their tune One Step Additional.
Regardless of the success of this 12 months’s Eurovision cohort, Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding held them off to stay at No 1 for a sixth week, out of a complete of 10 weeks spent within the High 3.
I meet Loreen in what I do know, from meeting Sam Ryder here last year, is the fleeting habitat of the Eurovision elite – the Langham lodge in central London. Reverse the BBC, it’s completely positioned for the wave of broadcast interviews that ensue, and the perfect setting – refined luxurious in impartial tones – to be completely overwhelmed. The 39-year-old shouldn’t be overawed, although, since she has gained earlier than, in 2012, making her the primary lady to win twice within the competitors’s historical past.
Loreen’s successful entry for this 12 months, Tattoo, has already been streamed 60m times on Spotify alone and, as I kind, it is just Monday. A mere 48 hours after the occasion, it’s additionally the ninth most downloaded Eurovision tune ever and it’ll go increased. For those who haven’t heard it, it’s a well-executed piece of pop balladeering, with traces of Katy Perry to attract you in earlier than it takes over with its personal distinctive brio.
It’s my honest perception, although, that what may look like overexcitement – Loreen’s vitality and verve, big hand gestures, expressive face and air of pleasure – aren’t in response to what occurred in Liverpool in any respect. That is simply her character. Jagged fringe, metre-long tiny plaits snaking out of her common hair like rope, puckish, childlike physique language (cross-legged one minute, dancing the subsequent), beautiful dimpled face; she retains beaming at me like an previous pal.
Loreen initially stated no to being Sweden’s entry for a second time. “I’m a bit purpose-driven, so I assumed: ‘What’s my objective right here? What can I provide you with guys?’ However every time I stated no, there was this dense vitality round me.” She appears to be like on the ceiling, shoots her eyes again at me knowingly, and murmurs “non secular particular person”, as if she’s telling me a narrative and footnoting it on the identical time. Wanting again on the ceiling, she continues, “Universe? Severely? Is that this the best way you need me to go?” If she have been 5% much less self-mocking and vaudeville, it might be annoying; as it’s, she is extremely enjoyable to look at, and that’s earlier than she even begins performing.
The second Loreen gained in Liverpool. {Photograph}: Dominic Lipinski/Getty Pictures
She’s been residing like an athlete since October, she says, as a result of Tattoo, between the crescendos and the primal, sinewy dancing, was extraordinarily demanding: “I imply, I’m mendacity in a mattress of sand. My nails are made out of stone. There may be the sky. There may be the mist, there’s the wind.” That is all helpful clarification, since I didn’t get that she was communing with the earth. “The one factor I don’t have is water. However then once more, I sweat!” Her tone turns critical. “We’ve created a reasonably messy world, haven’t we? With all this data? The place can we floor ourselves?” I’m nodding enthusiastically, sure, nails product of stone, that sounds proper. She shrugs, grinning. “What can I say, I’m a really non secular particular person. I’m a nomad from the Atlas mountains.”
On that: she was born Lorine Zineb Nora Talhaoui in Stockholm and each her dad and mom have been first-generation immigrants from Morocco. Her mom arrived in Sweden at 14 with nothing, fleeing an organized marriage. She met a person and had Loreen, the eldest of six, when she was 16. Loreen hares off briefly to inform me about her great-grandmother: “Her husband bought killed within the struggle, she was stunning, she was additionally very younger. The household needed her to remarry. She didn’t need this. So she dressed up as a person, took her two youngsters and fled to Algeria.” At this level Loreen is utilizing her hair to imitate a litham, the face protecting of the nomadic males of north Africa. “She raised her youngsters, nonetheless dressed up as a person. I’ve an image of her with a gold tooth. The ladies in my household fought actually arduous to get me to the place I’m at.”
Again to Stockholm, 1989: her mom now has six youngsters and remains to be solely 22, and Loreen’s dad and mom break up up. “I needed to develop up fairly quick,” she says, “as a result of we had to assist one another out. We didn’t have any household in Sweden. There are such a lot of issues I didn’t perceive as a result of I used to be raised by a baby myself. Nonetheless, at present, I gained’t know: is Christmas the twenty fourth or the twenty third?” It was a tough scrabble and the household was very poor. There have been upsides, although: “The gorgeous factor once you’re raised by a teen is that it’s arduous to be judgmental as a result of no person’s taught you ways, you already know? ‘That’s unsuitable’ or ‘that’s proper’.”
When Loreen was 13, her mom married once more: “He got here in with this very bizarre vitality. You’re raised by a single mom, it is a very highly effective, decided lady. After which this huge, delicate, Swedish Santa Claus arrives. My mom was all about surviving. My stepfather was extra like, ‘Perhaps we must always simply relax a little bit bit. Calm down, benefit from the small moments, this connection, right here. Every little thing doesn’t should be a wrestle.’ I feel he taught us easy methods to present love.” That was actually not the course I used to be anticipating, from “very bizarre vitality”.
One sibling is an artist, one other a surgeon, one other works in advertising and marketing, one other has his personal enterprise. She makes a reasonably indeniable factors about migrants and refugees, grounded in first-hand expertise. “You need to have a objective as an individual, you need to really feel such as you matter. You don’t need to sit round and never do something. When we have now our immigrants coming in to Sweden, we simply make them sit there and wait. Allow them to have a objective. Allow them to be part of this society. That is actually necessary. In any other case there’s segregation. How do you construct up a confidence, the place individuals suppose, ‘I earned this. I did this’?”
Along with her trophy in Liverpool on the weekend. {Photograph}: Dominic Lipinski/Getty Pictures
Singing, within the rest room and in church, was the one approach Loreen discovered any moments to herself as a baby. Within the melee of 5 siblings, “it was a sanctuary, one thing I had for myself.” So when she took her voice to Swedish Idol in 2004, “it was so painful”, she remembers. “Someplace I knew it was crucial, I suppose – I didn’t even understand how a microphone labored … I didn’t know what it was wish to be judged, singing was so non-public. However that shock, what got here out of it, I realised I wanted to know all of this. As a girl, you need to know your stuff. In any other case individuals will come alongside and say, ‘Darling, we’ll repair this for you, you don’t have to fret.’ I need to be in management.” She’s nonetheless very a lot the self-taught maverick and doesn’t perceive why individuals do vocal arpeggios earlier than they go on stage. “For those who have been going boxing, you wouldn’t train for a few hours earlier than,” she says. “Your physique would say, ‘Come on, give me a break.’”
In 2005, she launched her first single, The Snake, and introduced a present on Swedish TV. “I wasn’t that good, I truthfully sucked at it.” She then spent numerous years as a section producer and director for actuality TV reveals earlier than coming into Melodifestivalen in 2011, a tune contest virtually as previous as Eurovision, which determines Sweden’s entry. It does this fairly successfully – they’ve now won seven times, to make them, jointly with Ireland, the competition’s most profitable nation. “I used to be shitless scared. However I did it, as a result of I knew it was crucial. For those who take a look at my efficiency [in Melodifestivalen], I used to be hiding. That is the unconscious thoughts: the large costume, the physique language, individuals have been like, ‘That’s very inventive’, which it was, however I used to be hiding. The second I really feel concern, I’ve to go in. As a result of I don’t need concern to regulate my life.”
Loreen was uncommon in 2012’s Eurovision, for a number of causes; the tune, Euphoria, is fairly good and made the UK charts in its personal proper, staying there for a lot of weeks after the competition. No shade on this magnificent spectacle, however the successful entries are sometimes fairly kitsch and don’t work out of context. The competitors that 12 months was held in Baku, Azerbaijan, and he or she had a gathering with a neighborhood activist group that she had discovered by Civil Rights Defenders, a Swedish NGO that helps grassroots organisations. Azerbaijan has a historical past of imprisoning political activists. The nation’s authorities was enraged by Loreen, lodging the acquainted grievance, that she had “politicised” Eurovision. Swedish diplomats defended her. “I knew precisely what I used to be going to do as a result of I imagine that there’s nothing extra necessary than human life. What did they need me to say? ‘Fuck a human life. Folks can have distress and wrestle – it’s not necessary as a result of I’m going to sing my bloody tune’? How is that even potential?”
Later the identical 12 months, she carried out in Belarus and met the spouse of Ales Bialiatski, the incarcerated pro-democracy activist who went on to win the Nobel Peace prize, whereas nonetheless in detention, 10 years later. “I don’t just like the phrase ‘political’,” Loreen says. “It’s so small – I want there was a much bigger phrase for it. My individuals use music as a really highly effective instrument – you’ll be able to create actions with it, relying on what kind of vitality you’ve. How can that not be political? Take a look at the Kalush Orchestra,” she says, referring to final 12 months’s Ukrainian Eurovision winners. “This tune introduced a variety of hope to the Ukrainians.”
She was performing in Ukraine the evening earlier than the Russians invaded, and carried out in a fundraising gala for Ukraine lower than a month later. Explaining her dedication to varied causes – she’s additionally campaigned for women’ training in Afghanistan, and inalienable youngsters’s rights – she factors to her upbringing. “Seeing what I’ve seen in my life, I’ve seen poverty, I’ve seen ache in all other ways. There are good issues and unhealthy issues about being raised by a single mom.”
Loreen acting at Eurovision 2013 in Malmö, Sweden, the 12 months after successful for the primary time. {Photograph}: Ragnar Singsaas/Getty Pictures
To return to the politics of Eurovision, one factor it’s been extremely good at is establishing worldwide norms round LGBTQ+ visibility: from Paul Oscar, the first openly gay contestant in 1997, to Dana International, the first trans performer, who won in 1998, to Krista Siegfrids kissing her feminine backing singer on stage in 2013, there has lengthy been a really clear message that no person was going to cover to spare the emotions of bigots. Turkey, according to its broadcaster, no longer enters Eurovision due to its homosexual and transgender contestants. And whereas the Hungarian broadcaster hasn’t stated as a lot overtly, Hungary has been absent since 2020, which is coincidentally when Viktor Orbán intensified his open persecution of the LGBTQ+ group, instituting a ban on LGBTQ+ content in schools or kids’ TV the following year. Loreen got here out as bisexual in 2017, though “the rationale why individuals learn about that”, she says, “is as a result of a newspaper requested me a query, and I answered, ‘Love is the place you discover it.’ The journalist stated, ‘So, you’re bisexual?’ And I stated, ‘I suppose I’m, as a result of love is the place you discover it. Love is love. It has not a lot to do with this [gestures towards to her pudenda] a lot as this [clasps heart].’ She thinks she may subconsciously have been drawn to Eurovision due to the “acceptance, as a result of I like the values of Eurovision. I like the truth that it doesn’t matter what background you’ve – so long as you include love and respect, you’re allowed to be there.”
Loreen is, after all, Sweden’s final darling proper now: on Tuesday there was a victory march in her honour. She introduced the trophy dwelling in time for the fiftieth anniversary of Abba’s 1974 win; there are already rumours that the group will carry out at subsequent 12 months’s competitors. She’s philosophical concerning the adulation. “You generally is a favorite, after which it’ll flip. You’re up, you’re down. I’ve a floor rule: I don’t need to know what persons are saying, I don’t need to know the constructive, I don’t need to know the destructive. If they are saying I suck, after all I’m going to care. In the event that they suppose I’m the best, that’s an excessive amount of stress. I don’t need to go on that rollercoaster.” Triumph and catastrophe, adulation and critique, are simply the pure rhythm of life, she concludes: “The way in which it really works, daylight, evening, we get born after which we die, it’s actually arduous to dodge that.”
I’m not a non secular particular person, however I’ve to say, I like the entire bundle, from the stone fingernails to the stoic acceptance of dying. Our time collectively has come to an finish and he or she is dashing out to get a cab to absorb extra Eurovision glory. “Thanks, you’ve a pleasant vibe,” she says. “No, no, no,” I reply. “The good vibe is all you.”
Sweden has gained the 67th Eurovision music contest in a helter skelter present that spanned chintzy Europop, anti-war protest and a continent’s help for Ukraine.
The Swedish singer-songwriter Loreen began the night time as runaway favourites however confronted a late problem from Finland’s wildly-popular Käärijä, a fan favorite contained in the raucous Liverpool Enviornment.
Her win means Sweden is now stage with Eire’s file seven Eurovision wins and Loreen, 39, turns into solely the second performer to win the competition twice, after her anthemic 2012 hit Euphoria. The one different particular person artist to win it greater than as soon as is Eire’s Johnny Logan.
The UK’s Mae Muller did not emulate the success of Sam Ryder’s second-placed Spaceman in Italy final yr, ending twenty fifth, second-from-last, along with her entry I Wrote A Track.
— Eurovision Song Contest (@Eurovision) May 13, 2023
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Sweden has won the 67th Eurovision song contest in a helter skelter show that spanned chintzy Europop, anti-war protest and a continent’s support for Ukraine.
The Swedish singer-songwriter Loreen started the night as runaway favourites but faced a late challenge from Finland’s wildly-popular Käärijä, a fan favourite inside the raucous Liverpool Arena.
Her win means Sweden is now level with Ireland’s record seven Eurovision wins and Loreen, 39, becomes only the second performer to win the contest twice, after her anthemic 2012 hit Euphoria. The only other individual artist to win it more than once is Ireland’s Johnny Logan.
The UK’s Mae Muller failed to emulate the success of Sam Ryder’s second-placed Spaceman in Italy last year, finishing 25th, second-from-last, with her entry I Wrote A Song.
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The UK’s Mae Muller receives nine points in the public vote to add to 15 from the juries and will finish second-from-last. Germany have again finished last.
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The voting is over! We will get a bit more preamble and then we will be into the impossible to follow segment where the juries give their votes. Then one by one each country will get the points from the public added to their total, and there will be a winner. It usually takes approximately 100 years!
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Voting has opened for the results of the 2023 Eurovision song contest. Here is a reminder of how it works:
The semi-finals were determined purely by public vote, but the Grand Final retains a jury plus public vote system. When the last song has played – Mae Muller’s I Wrote a Song – voting will open. After that there will be some music performances, and then we are into the nail-biting result process.
First we get points from the juries country by country, read out by a national representative, who usually takes slightly too long to do it, thus causing the show to overrun. After all of the jury scores are in, we have the half-time interim results table.
Then the public votes are added to each song in turn, starting with the song lying in 26th place. Songs can get up to 12 points from each country, and this year there is an additional set of points from “the rest of the world”, as the contest is open to anybody to vote. So songs popular with the public can literally add hundreds of points to their tally at a stroke, regardless of where the juries placed them.
The keen-eyed among you will spot that this means as we get closer to the top, songs in sixth, fifth, fourth place etc start leaping over the interim leader. But the interim leader is the last one to have their public points added, so you pretty much never know what the final result will be until there are only two or three more scores to be added.
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The UK got the last slot via a random draw. I really hope for her sakes this does well. It is a great little pop song, but whether it is as good as the other great little pop songs tonight I’m not so sure. She has thrown heart and soul into being the UK’s representative this year though, so, while acknowledging this is a blog for everyone, everywhere, I’ve got my fingers firmly crossed for her.
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THIS ON THE OTHER HAND. I was so pleased this got through the semi-final because it is proper WTF performance art Eurovision. They are a punk band who have been knocking around since the late 1980s and this is very clearly about war, with allusions to Vladimir Putin and the Belarus leader Alexander Lukashenko, if in a rather surreal way. Incredible Eurovision stuff.
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I’m going to be honest, I don’t get this one at all ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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Noa Kirel is a big star domestically, and this has got a good shot at winning if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but you are here on the live blog, so my opinions kind of come with it. It has an uplifting empowerment message, she’s been quite charming around the event by all accounts, and the staging is good. But by far the best thing about this is that an entirely different song arrives two-thirds of the way through just so she can do a manic solo dance routine.
This is a bit of a lull before the storm of the final few tracks. She has a great voice, and it has got something about it, there’s a little hint of Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) in the drum rhythm in the chorus, but I can’t see this troubling the higher places at all.
This is a fun, fun, fun burst of Satanic rock fun. Just look at it!
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Alessandra was born in Italy, but has been living in Norway for a couple of years, and this track keeps threatening to break out into a Game of Thrones/dungeons and dragons remix of Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus, just lacking a bit of twangy guitar. I’m not saying she has a high note flourish, but you might need to put earplugs in your dog for the finale of this one.
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One of tonight’s main attractions. It is quite a contrast to last year’s more folk-tinged hip-hop of Stefania. The duo said part of the inspiration for the song was watching the resilience of the defenders of Mariupol in the Azovstal iron and steelworks early in the war last year.
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The official Eurovision Twitter account described that as an “Ethno-banger” so I feel I can use that word. It is the high-energy counterpart to earlier’s Albanian effort, and I much prefer this. Also, no Eurovision final is complete without the deployment of some archaic native instrument and I’m delighted Moldova have broken out a mountain-herder nose flute, or whatever that is.
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Just like Serbia’s Luke Blake, Armenia’s entry is named after her hair colour. I sort of like it, but the first time I heard it I kept expecting it to kick on into a full four-to-the-floor banger … and it did not. But I’ve got more used to the fact that doesn’t happen. I don’t think it will win, but it is enjoyable. Incredible boots as well.
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This guy has got a bit of a 90s Boy George look to him, without quite having the power in his voice to carry it off. It is nice enough, if a bit generic if you ask me. But it seems to be proving hugely popular and is maybe in with an outside shout.
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This is cracking from Australia, and manages to seem to be about three genres at once. And all of them genres I like.
I’ve got a battle going on here between me, Eurovision, and the Guardian style guide. Czechia are competing as Czechia for the very first time, but our style guide very firmly says Czech Republic. Please don’t write in, whatever I put I’m upsetting somebody.
At least Türkiye / Turkey gave up on Eurovision years ago.
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This is tipped to do well and is a bit of an odd one. When I first heard it I was like, oh yes, if I had been in a club in 1987 and you sandwiched this between Nitzer Ebb and Front 242 I would have been “Yeah shouty Finnish electronic body music, let’s go!”, however, at some point they are going to suddenly remember they are on Eurovision and want to win it and … well … you’ll see.
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Another new one on me. I can’t believe we are 11 songs in already. It is flying by.
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A couple of songs tonight lean into the tried-and-tested Eurovision formula of being a modern dance tune that leans into traditional folk music and traditional dress costumes, and this is one of them. But I found it curiously low energy for what it is. Albania have never finished higher than fifth and this will surely not trouble the record book writers on that score.
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Loreen and her Wolverine fingers are bidding to be Sweden’s seventh Eurovision victory, and it would be her second victory, having won with Euphoria in 2012. Tattoo isn’t 100 miles away stylistically from that, and is very much a favourite going into tonight’s event. She would be only the second person to ever win the contest twice as a solo artist – Ireland’s Johnny Logan being the other. I would not bet against her doing it. Not least of which because she could have your eyes out with those and I am a bit scared.
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At this point, the UK traditionally invites you to raise a glass in memory of Terry Wogan.
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Another automatic qualifier that I haven’t heard all the way through before. So I don’t know the song, but she’s going to get block voting support from the Swifties.
🚨 EUROPEAN SWIFTIES! Blanca Paloma 🕊️, Spain’s 🇪🇸 representative for this year’s #Eurovision Song Contest, is a long term #swiftie and her song EAEA is a tribute to Taylor’s music (The Archer 🏹 and the RED🧣 album) so don’t forget to vote for her this saturday! #TSTheErasTourpic.twitter.com/riNiXka887
The fact that Andrew Lambrou was born in Australia probably won’t stop this getting the traditional “Δώδεκα βαθμοί από την Ελλάδα” later tonight, but I’m not sure I can see where many other points are coming from. It’s generic pop from a generic muscle man in a sleeveless jacket, and I don’t think that is enough to cut it at the highest level of Eurovision any more.
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I tend to allow myself the luxury of avoiding hearing the automatic qualifiers in advance so you can enjoy my honest spontaneous reaction to first hearing it, and then as they start I panic and remember how hard it is to type out your verdict on a song and get a decent pic into the blog when you’ve only got two minutes and fifty-five seconds to play with. Idiot.
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Contrary to what I understand is the received wisdom in the TikTok/Spotify age – that songs need to start with a bang and a hook – this has quite a slow and abstract build-up. Luke Black wrote it himself. It translates as “I just wanna sleep”, but it is only song five Luke and this party has got several hours to go, mate.
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I find myself conflicted about this because they are clearly going for a very 80s retro feel with the VHS overlay and background images, the track itself has a joyful Ace of Base-ish 90s vibe to it … and yet … it leaves me not so much ‘blanka’ as a bit blank.
Is it wrong to suggest that the shortness of the shorts may have been a factor in this qualifying, because it really doesn’t seem to get out of “generic pop” mode?
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I’m not saying this is bland but when it qualified I couldn’t remember anything about it, and then went to look at my notes, and found I had written down precisely nothing about it. It is early, but you could easily have a comfort break or put the kettle on during this, sorry Remo. It has a heartfelt anti-war sentiment, but I don’t think it will trouble the scorers.
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If you put a black and white filter on the footage of this and told me it was an entry from Eurovision in 1972, I think you would have fooled me. Will people go for a retro-Iberian peninsula cabaret act with a feather-y dress? The crowd went wild for it in the semi-finals. Mimicat first entered Eurovision in 2001, and I think this may end up near the top of the scoreboard at the end of the night. Second is a tough slot, though.
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Get ready to mark your Eurovision bingo cards! Of course, if you want to have a shot of drink each time you spot one of these things, you are welcome, but drinking is not compulsory. Some people – Terry Wogan chiefly – advised leaving off the booze until later in the show. You can just shout “Poe! Poe! Poe! Poe!” instead, or whatever you fancy. Here is what I have got on my list:
I’ll try to call them out along the way but usually forget. And also try not to get into complicated arguments about musicology as to whether something is technically a key change or not. We all know that cynical rising key change for the final set of choruses when you hear it.
Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.
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The semi-finals were determined purely by public vote, but the Grand Final retains a jury plus public vote system. When the last song has played – Mae Muller’s I Wrote a Song – voting will open. After that there will be some music performances, and then we are into the nail-biting result process.
First we get points from the juries country by country, read out by a national representative, who usually takes slightly too long to do it, thus causing the show to overrun. After all of the jury scores are in, we have the half-time interim results table.
Then the public votes are added to each song in turn, starting with the song lying in 26th place. Songs can get up to 12 points from each country, and this year there is an additional set of points from “the rest of the world”, as the contest is open to anybody to vote. So songs popular with the public can literally add hundreds of points to their tally at a stroke, regardless of where the juries placed them.
The keen-eyed among you will spot that this means as we get closer to the top, songs in sixth, fifth, fourth place etc start leaping over the interim leader. But the interim leader is the last one to have their public points added, so you pretty much never know what the final result will be until there are only two or three more scores to be added.
It makes it incredibly nail-biting, and luckily for me, almost impossible to live blog coherently. The only thing I have ever live blogged that goes faster than the Eurovision vote is trying to cover the luge at the Winter Olympics.
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Here is your running order for tonight, which the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) have handily put on a social media graphic so that I don’t have to type it all out. The show starts at 8pm BST.
Ukraine go 19th, the UK goes last. Favourites Sweden and Finland go 10th and 13th. The show opens with Austria’s brilliant song about Edgar Allan Poe, and 25th is Croatia’s utterly and delightfully bonkers anti-war song Mama ŠČ! from Let 3. Plus we will get the usual skits and grand musical numbers.
The feedback can be open, however expertise tells me that I can be unlikely to attract sufficient of a breath to hitch in, however have enjoyable and be form to one another.
And bear in mind our cardinal rule. When you’ve got come on to the Guardian web site to depart a remark saying that you simply don’t watch Eurovision, you hate it, it’s a foolish waste of a time, then honest sufficient, everyone seems to be entitled to their opinion, you do you. However I can assure we are having a greater time having fun with it than you are by selecting to actively spend your Saturday night moaning about it 🙂
You’ll be able to drop me an e-mail to [email protected] when you spot errors or wish to inform me how your occasion goes or why Austria ought to win and so forth. I can’t promise to answer however I’ll attempt to learn all of them.
Big hats. Ludicrous costumes. An ornate stage set. Specially composed music. Lots of people waving flags. Yes, that was me live blogging the coronation last Saturday. But tonight it really is the jewel in the crown of the music calendar – the grand final of the Eurovision song contest. This year it is coming to you from Liverpool on behalf of Ukraine and, in the specific case of this live blog, from Walthamstow.
The show starts at 8pm BST, and will be hosted by Graham Norton, Julia Sanina, Alesha Dixon and Eurovision goddessHannah Waddingham. It will feature 26 acts vying for the title. Sweden’s Loreen is hotly tipped to win, but Finland’s Käärijä, Israel’s Noa Kirel, and Noway’s Alessandra might have other plans.
There are loads of famous faces from Eurovision past set to appear, and there will be celebrations of Liverpool’s musical heritage, and tributes to Ukraine, who would be hosting tonight’s event if it wasn’t for Russia’s invasion of their country.
The comments will be open. It is always great fun, and one of my favourite evenings of the year. Well, except for the panicky bit right at the end when I’m trying follow the scores as they come, file a news story for tomorrow’s paper about who has won, and keep the live blog ticking over, while regretting my earlier drinking decisions. Please join me!
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And that could be a wrap from me too. Thanks a lot for studying, and becoming a member of within the feedback. As ever it has been a blast, and by far my favorite night time’s work of the yr. Listed here are the primary takeaways:
Sweden have gained the Eurovision music contest for the seventh time.
Loreen turned solely the second particular person to win the competition twice, after her music tonight, Tattoo, adopted her success with Euphoria in 2012.
The UK was internet hosting the competition in Liverpool on behalf of Ukraine. Ukraine’s Tvorchi got here in sixth. The UK’s Mae Muller completed twenty fifth, second-from-last.
Finland’s Käärijä got here second total with Cha Cha Cha, which had topped the favored vote.
Sweden will now host the 2024 contest on the fiftieth anniversary of Abba’s win with Waterloo.
Have an incredible remainder of your night time / day / afternoon. I’m certain I’ll see you once more someplace across the Guardian’s web site quickly.
Right here is the remainder of our protection tonight …
Josh Halliday on the victory for Sweden:
Jack Seale’s evaluation for the Observer:
And from Nadeem Badshah a reminder of why the competition needed to be held in Liverpool:
Right here is the BBC’s social media log off from the occasion. Presumably any person at SVT has with a really heavy coronary heart simply opened up their new eurovision_2024_hosting_budget.xls file.
WHAT A NIGHT!
Thanks to our #Eurovision2023 acts, to our unbelievable hosts, to Liverpool for welcoming us, to Ukraine for permitting us the honour of internet hosting and to all of you internationally for becoming a member of us ❤️ pic.twitter.com/50nDrggRRK
Thanks to our #Eurovision2023 acts, to our unbelievable hosts, to Liverpool for welcoming us, to Ukraine for permitting us the honour of internet hosting and to all of you internationally for becoming a member of us ❤️ pic.twitter.com/50nDrggRRK
PA media are carrying some phrases from Loreen after her historic victory – solely the second particular person and the primary lady to win the competition twice.
She mentioned: “It feels loopy. That is so surreal, man, I’m comfortable and I’m grateful, I’m grateful to all you guys on the market that voted for me.
“The one factor I really feel proper now could be a lot love. Not in my wildest desires did I believe this was going to occur.”
She mentioned sitting and listening to the votes coming in was “so surreal”.
She added: “I’ve lived this efficiency for six months. It’s been my entire life mainly.”
Singer Loreen with the trophy. {Photograph}: Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Photographs
Italy’s contestant, Marco Mengoni, has posted a little bit clip of him backstage carrying some fairy wings.
LucianEgon factors out within the feedback that after the outcomes had been introduced there have been “technicians working extra time to get that big sunbed again on stage” for Loreen’s successful reprise.
Sweden’s singer Loreen performs. {Photograph}: Oli Scarff/AFP/Getty Photographs
I ought to think about the technicians had been particularly aggravated, as they should have been midway via reassembling Finland’s field!
Käärijä of Finland performs his music Cha Cha Cha. {Photograph}: Vesa Moilanen/Shutterstock
Finland completed second with this, Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä.
Käärijä – Cha Cha Cha
Truly why don’t I simply embed all the YouTube video of the semi-final efficiency? The little gray cells are working a bit slowly at the moment of night time.
Loreen, the 2023 Eurovision music contest winner.
Within the unlikely occasion you had been following this weblog since you couldn’t really watch the present, relatively than “second-screening” together with it, here’s a little bit of Sweden’s winner.
It hasn’t been an completely widespread victory for Sweden down beneath the road right here tonight:
Lohtar mentioned: “As an act of protest I shall Cha Cha Cha with my headphones on (undecided how the neighbours really feel about Finland being robbed, or about getting sleep).”
Micktrick mentioned: “Similar as final yr then. One of the best music completed second.”
Susanmarykelly mentioned “Okay. I’m listening to it once more and nonetheless don’t perceive why Sweden gained.”
I can see why Cha Cha Cha would have been a bolder alternative, however typically you hoover up the favored vote by being a bit straght down the center and choosing up a number of eights, sevens and sixes even from the international locations that haven’t given you a 12.
On the BBC, Mel Giedroyc has simply known as Loreen “our new Eurovision queen”.
You certain?
The Guardian dwell weblog’s queen of Eurovision 2023, Hannah Waddingham. {Photograph}: Oli Scarff/AFP/Getty Photographs
The best Eurovision track that by no means received was One Step Additional by Bardo, representing UK in 1982. It suffered from the “year-after-a-winner” curse, following Bucks Fizz’s triumph in 1981 – however for my part this could have received and Bucks Fizz ought to have come seventh as a substitute. In my reminiscence, One Step Additional was an thrilling tune sung by an attractive romantic duo who sparkled with chemistry. I’ve intentionally not rewatched it on-line so it shall stay completely frozen in my thoughts: an ideal Eurovision second. Tim Thornton, 49, musician, London
Nicole – Ein Bisschen Frieden (1982)
There are such a lot of Eurovision songs like this one which remind me of key moments in my life. After every contest, all via the yr, I used to rewatch the video recordings my dad made from it. My dad was an enormous fan of Eurovision – normally the France and Luxembourg entries. He had all the time liked the Nicole track and I used to be stunned to listen to it on the sixtieth anniversary present in 2015. I broke down in tears. It nonetheless makes me cry now. He died in 2001 and I didn’t cry rather a lot again then. I suppose it was 14 years of built-up emotion. Phil, 39, Middlesbrough
Lordi – Laborious Rock Hallelujah (2006)
It must be Laborious Rock Hallelujah, the 2006 winner from Finnish rock band Lordi. I recall seeing them on the Obtain competition the yr earlier than: dressed up of their extravagant horror-based costumes, they made me assume Kiss and Gwar had merged to supply a rock spawn. By no means in 1,000,000 years did I feel they’d be appropriate to look on Eurovision, not to mention win it. As a devoted metalhead, it was refreshing to see a tough rock band triumph. Given Måneskin received solely a few years in the past, it will hopefully set the pattern for years to come back. Grant, 38, well being intelligence adviser, Edinburgh, Scotland
Riva – Rock Me (1989)
I used to be 10 years outdated, residing in Sydney, Australia, when Riva received Eurovision in 1989 with Rock Me. The next yr, the competition was held in Zagreb (in what’s now Croatia), after which in 1992 Yugoslavia competed for the final time earlier than the conflict broke the nation up. It’s fascinating to think about the Eurovision track contest as some form of historical past marker. My dad was from Croatia however he died after I was little, so when the track got here out I used to be particularly taken by it. I keep in mind being at my pal’s home, whose mom was from Zagreb, and he or she was crying. I keep in mind feeling actually emotional and proud. The refrain is so catchy. I nonetheless sing the track at random occasions. Katia, Los Angeles, US
Circus Mircus – Lock Me In (2022)
If we’re moving into actual Eurovision, it’s the Georgian non-qualifiers Circus Mircus with the delightfully batty Lock Me In. But when we’re sticking to finalists, the 1998 UK entry The place Are You? by Imaani can’t be beat. (It was – by Dana Worldwide – however you already know what I imply.) Lydia, QI elf, Leicestershire
Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan – We Had been the Rock’n’roll Youngsters (1994)
It’s is gently folky and sweetly nostalgic, with a nice melody and addictive refrain. Charlie is a really good man with a nice Border accent. I additionally liked the Hothouse Flowers track Don’t Go, which they performed through the interval on one other yr Eire received, as a result of we normally received again then. I feel the nation has moved on from Eurovision as a little bit of cráic – it’s too massive now – however I nonetheless have nice reminiscences. Noel MacLiam, 60, musician, County Donegal, Eire
Vicky – L’Amour Est Bleu (1967)
I’ve no reminiscences of this one being carried out on the time as a result of it’s even older than me. However L’Amour Est Bleu, carried out by Vicky Leandros for Luxembourg in 1967, is my favorite. It’s a wonderful anthem of misplaced love, swinging between defiance and melancholy like a youngster’s moods. This was the year that Puppet on a String won however Vicky’s track deserved the prize. Tim Footman, 55, author, London
Waterloo, in fact. There are a lot of different favourites, together with one other Swedish hit, Euphoria. Nonetheless, Agnetha and Frida rising of their eye-catching outfits, their smiles and emotions of pure pleasure, Björn’s star guitar and Benny’s piano taking centre stage: pop perfection. It’s a cracking track and one of the best ambassador for Eurovision. Marta, 46, Weybridge
Zlata Ognevich – Gravity (2013)
The primary one I keep in mind is Waterloo however my favorite is Gravity, the Ukrainian entry 10 years in the past. It was the one the place she was carried on to the foggy stage by an enormous (however why?). The lyrics are barely odd however her singing voice is improbable, second solely to Italy’s Giorgia Todrani. Her personal history displays the continuing tragedy of Ukraine and Crimea specifically. Andrew Scaife, 66, retired, York
Alexander Rybak – Fairy Story (2009)
By far one of the best, most dynamic and thrillingly lovely Eurovision winner. The efficiency is in a category of its personal. The normal dancers, the three ladies who slide into the track within the center, and that violin! Perfection. Daniel S Philips, 63, wine producer, Barcelona
DJ Bobo – Vampires Are Alive (2007)
This has an excellent, catchy hook, a dynamic, cool video and wonderful harmonies that ought to have made it an actual contender for Switzerland in 2007. A garbage semi-performance which concerned a load of store mannequins and singers who had been huffing and puffing via the bold but irrelevant choreography sunk this banger, although, and it didn’t make the ultimate. It’s nonetheless on my playlist immediately however it wasn’t till not too long ago that I realised that vampires by definition usually are not really alive. Ellie Baskerville, 55, St Asaph, Wales
Les Fatals Picards – L’amour à la Française (2007)
My major faculty college students and I really like L’amour à la Française by Les Fatals Picards. It’s in French and English, it’s humorous, inventive and an excellent illustration of the “French cultural exception”: the concept that France has a novel cultural method of expressing itself in artwork, music, tradition, and many others. Some foolish lyrics go: “I keep in mind, jolie demoiselle, so lovely along with your sac Chanel,” and “I gave you a rendez-vous, what’s it, what’s it?” Alexandra Milovanovic, 38, French instructor, Virginia, US
It’s probably the most thrilling, unpredictable, surreal evening of tv. And this 12 months, it’s going down within the UK. Let this be your information for the acts to be careful for, the weirdest lyrics and a bluffer’s information to the scoring. Now if you’ll excuse me … ahem … let the Eurovision track contest start!
How we acquired right here
Final 12 months’s winners had been Ukraine’s Kalush Orchestra with the track Stefania. It dominated the general public vote, receiving a file 439 factors (that’s the utmost 12 factors from practically each different nation) and 631 factors in whole. Historically, the winner hosts Eurovision the next 12 months, however the ongoing battle in Ukraine made that inconceivable. In order the UK’s Sam Ryder got here second (with Space Maaaaaaaaan), the BBC supplied to host.
Though the occasion is in Liverpool, that is very a lot a present for Ukraine. Kalush Orchestra will open the grand closing, adopted by performances from well-known Ukrainian entrants through the conventional Flag Parade (which Graham Norton as soon as described as “a brand new innovation … to make the night simply that little bit longer”). These acts embrace Jamala (winner of Eurovision 2016), Tina Karol (represented Ukraine in 2006), and Verka Serduchka (whose 2007 entry Dancing Lasha Tumbai is the stuff of Eurovision legend).
Timur Miroshnychenko, who commentated for Ukrainian viewers from a bunker in Kyiv final 12 months, will make frequent cameos from his commentary field within the area. And alongside hosts Hannah Waddingham (a sensational host, who after talking in French on the semi-finals, adopted it up with “a few of us Brits do hassle to be taught one other language”) and Alesha Dixon will probably be Julia Sanina, from Ukrainian band the Hardkiss. Norton will even one way or the other juggle presenting and commentating, with Mel Giedroyc filling in at any time when he’s on stage. (“Is he going to make use of a jet pack? Is it going to be on a zipper wire?” Giedroyc requested the BBC’s Eurovisioncast podcast.)
The interval will even function a collaboration between six Eurovision icons, from Iceland’s Daði Freyr (the entrant for the cancelled 2020 occasion and the 2021 contest, who wore a inexperienced jumper containing a Lego model of his personal face) to Liverpool’s personal Sonia, who represented the UK in 1993. For Eurovision followers, it’s a fever dream.
Ones to observe
Between rock and a tough place … Loreen from Sweden. {Photograph}: Phil Noble/Reuters
Crank up the wind machine … Loreen is again! The winner of Eurovision 2012 is hoping to take the trophy again to Sweden, this time with a track known as Tattoo – which is at present the new favorite. It’s not as a lot of a banger as her final entry, Euphoria (actually, what track is?), however her efficiency actually stands out. A track all about combating for love, it begins along with her mendacity down between two LED screens, which appear like a large panini press that she slowly prises aside. The screens she used throughout Melodifestivalen, the Swedish TV present that chooses their entry, had been so big and hefty (reportedly weighing a tonne) that for Eurovision she’s having to make use of smaller ones on wheels, to allow them to be rolled out of the best way in time for the following performer. If Loreen wins, this would be the seventh time Sweden has gained the competition, matching all-time file holder Eire, who did not qualify.
She faces stiff competitors. Finland’sKäärijä is turning into a agency favorite. He additionally achieves a Eurovision first: a mixture of electronica, rapping and ballroom dancing. Cha Cha Cha options the performer rising from a picket field carrying a neon bolero jacket, singing about boozing (“There’s no tomorrow after I maintain a pint tightly”). He’s joined by dancers with demonic facial expressions who – because the track unexpectedly turns right into a catchy sea shanty – type a human centipede, which Käärijä rides like a horse (the dancers confer with this part as a “piggy practice”). That is peak Eurovision, and is so fully leftfield it would really win.
Launch the piggy practice! … Käärijä from Finland. {Photograph}: Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Photographs
One other efficiency you’d solely discover at Eurovision is Croatia’sLet 3 with their track Mama ŠČ. Over the course of three minutes, they strip from clothes to their pants (enjoyable truth: they carried out with roses between their buttocks of their nationwide finals). Regardless of Eurovision banning data deemed political, this anti-war track one way or the other acquired by way of, though many imagine the lyrics to be about Putin (“That little psychopath / Warfare battle”). In addition they sing about tractors, which is interpreted by some as a reference to Belarus chief Alexander Lukashenko giving Putin a tractor for his birthday.
High hats … Let 3 from Croatia. {Photograph}: Phil Noble/Reuters
Ukraine routinely qualifies for the finals having gained final 12 months, and their entry this time is Tvorchi with a catchy electronica monitor known as Heart of Steel. Additionally by way of are the Massive 5, nations that pay probably the most for the operating of the competition (yep, it’s a factor). This contains France’sentry Évidemment by the splendidly fashionable La Zarra, a catchy track that oozes sophistication. And, in fact, there’s the United Kingdom’sMae Muller with I Wrote a Song, which appears like a industrial pop banger moderately than a track put ahead by the BBC as a result of it sounds Eurovision-y. It’s all the higher for it.
Will Muller, who performs final, come up high? It’s laborious to say. She faces a whole lot of sturdy pop contenders, from Norway’s Alessandra and her catchy Queen of Kings (put together for each glass round you to shatter throughout her excessive be aware) to Israel’sNoa Kirel who performs Unicorn (she ends with the phrases “EUROPE, YOU WANNA SEE ME DANCE?” after which, my phrase, does she observe by way of).
The easiest lyrics
For an extra stage of enjoyable throughout Eurovision, be sure to swap on the subtitles. It has been a classic 12 months of Eurovision lyrics to this point within the semi-finals.Austria’s Who the Hell Is Edgar?, by duo Teya & Salena,is a catchy, hypnotic quantity about being possessed by the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe (no, actually). The track is a satirical swipe on the music business, with the road “zero dot zero zero three” referencing the 0.003 cents artists generally obtain for every stream of their music.
La Zarra options “In my hell backyard, the vegetation are watered with goals and tears.” Let 3 utter the road “crocodile psychopath”, then recite all the alphabet (in fact they do).Romania’s Theodor Andrei contains an eyebrow elevating “I’m beggin’ you, I’m on my knees / Take your garments off, step on me” in D.G.T. (Off and On). And Armenia’s Future Lover by Brunette goes full Alan Partridge with “I simply wanna make artwork, learn books and simply discover somebody who likes me sufficient to kiss my face.”
‘Recreation over!’ … Luke Black of Serbia. {Photograph}: Martin Meissner/AP
Serbia’s Luke Black in Samo Mi Se Spava sings the road “I simply wanna shut my eyes and simply get it over with,” which, opposite to what you may assume, shouldn’t be a touch upon watching the Eurovision track contest. At one level, he shouts the phrases “sport over” – hear out for the group yelling again “BITCH,” a phrase he carried out within the weeks operating as much as the competition however needed to reduce out.
Oh God, the factors!
As common viewers will know, there are two units of factors dished out. The primary are by juries from every collaborating nation, who award factors from one to 12 (however not 11) to nations that made it to the ultimate. It’s the half the place a consultant says “Thanks for a beautiful present!” with an ungainly delay and Norton makes barbed feedback about all of them. (“Fairly the costume. When it’s completed will probably be beautiful,” he mentioned about one announcer’s outfit in 2017. “Two factors for us? Thanks. We’ll go to,” he mentioned to Montenegro’s announcer throughout a low-scoring 12 months for the UK. Additionally hear out for his annual sarcastic “Is that Paris?” each time a presenter pops up in entrance of the Eiffel Tower.)
After this, the general public votes from viewers are doled out, who additionally give votes to nations to a most of 12. So as to add suspense (and, heck, confusion) these scores are grouped then introduced in reverse, beginning with the nation on the backside of the leaderboard. These lowest-scoring nations due to this fact have nowhere to cover, with 4 nations in 2021 receiving “zero factors”, together with the UK.
And simply when you’ve got used to Australia collaborating, that is the primary 12 months that the remainder of the world can vote, too. However don’t fret! As a substitute of with the ability to vote individually, their votes are grouped making the equal of 1 collaborating nation (so 12 factors). And, fortunately, they don’t get jury votes. I’m undecided we will all stand watching a rustic like Ecuador allotting factors at 4am.
However the pleasure of Eurovision is its unpredictability. With so many votes, so many entries (and a lot alcohol), you by no means know the way it’s going to finish. When Kalush Orchestra gained final 12 months, beating Sam Ryder, Norton completed his commentary with the road “Most likely some relieved folks again on the BBC – it appeared a bit dodgy there for a minute. We’re going to must host?” Quick ahead a 12 months, and right here we’re.
The Eurovision Tune Contest grand closing is on Saturday at 8pm on BBC One.
69. The Herrey’s – Diggi-Lavatory Diggi-Ley (Sweden, 1984)
With respect to the Herrey’s – three clean-cut brothers and one rogue apostrophe – Diggi-Lavatory Diggi-Ley seems like the results of an experiment to intentionally synthesise an abysmal Eurovision entry. Antiseptic sound, meaningless title, mind-boggling lyrics – some frightful outdated balls about magical golden sneakers – and a refrain that brings a couple of full collapse of the desire to dwell.
68. The Olsen Brothers – Fly on the Wings of Love (Denmark, 2000)
The perennially demoralising sound of synthesised panpipes kicks off probably the most nondescript Eurovision winners of all: an amiable however totally unmemorable acoustic guitar-fuelled pop-rock jog. Nonetheless, it was prescient in as far as it was an early adopter of slathering vocals in Auto-Tune, lengthy earlier than it turned pop’s most ubiquitous gimmick.
67. Duncan Laurence – Arcade (Netherlands, 2019)
The sort of Eurovision winner that makes you surprise aloud what the opposite entries had been like if one thing this boring got here out on prime. There may be nothing flawed with Arcade as such, in that it’s not an actively horrible tune, however neither is there something to differentiate it from umpteen different boilerplate weepy piano ballads.
Endearing or wildly infuriating? Israel’s Netta performs Toy at Eurovision in Lisbon in 2018. {Photograph}: Pedro Nunes/Reuters
66. Netta – Toy (Israel, 2018)
Maybe it’s kindest to say that there have been evidently loads of individuals who discovered Netta’s efficiency of the staccato Toy, replete with onomatopoeic vocalising, rooster noises, flapping arms and far self-consciously wacky gurning to digital camera, endearing relatively than wildly infuriating and go away it at that.
65. Milk and Honey – Hallelujah (Israel, 1979)
A tune so weedy {that a} gentle breeze would knock it flat, sung by an ineffably annoying cabaret flip in sequinned braces. Clearly, nobody was anticipating Eurovision to provide you with a winner that mirrored 1979’s cutting-edge pop – Gary Numan, the Specials and many others – however there are limits.
64. Tanel Padar, Dave Benton and 2XL – All people (Estonia, 2001)
Middling disco-house, like a much less impactful model of Phats and Small’s Flip Round, with a tacky refrain and loads of irksome vocal ad-libbing. It was hhistoric in some methods – Dave Benton was the primary black performer to win Eurovision and it was the primary entry from a former Soviet nation to win – however not, alas, musically.
63. Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan – Rock ’n’ Roll Youngsters (Eire, 1994)
The outdated Father Ted joke about Eire intentionally coming into a horrible tune in Eurovision as a result of it couldn’t afford to host the competition the next yr had its foundation in a persistent hearsay about Rock ’n’ Roll Youngsters. It’s startlingly pallid, though be glad about small mercies: it initially had seven verses.
62. Izhar Cohen and the Alphabeta – A-Ba-Ni-Bi (Israel, 1978)
By now, Eurovision’s Abba tendency was starting to look a bit clapped-out: witness the Alphabeta – three boys and three women – and the cantering however club-footed cod-disco of A-Ba-Ni-Bi, its refrain catchy solely since you are clobbered over the top with it about 7,000 occasions.
61. Nicole – A Little Peace (Germany, 1982)
Maybe there was a reactionary backlash in opposition to early 80s pop’s synthesisers and make-up, much like that which put Engelbert Humperdinck at No 1 at psychedelia’s peak: how else to clarify the UK reputation of Nicole’s winsome Ein bißchen Frieden (A Little Peace), which is basically I’d Like To Train The World To Sing with out the tune?
60. Corry Brokken – Web Als Toen (Netherlands, 1957)
Corry Brokken’s Eurovision profession was nothing if not excessive: she swept the board in 1957, then got here final, with seulement un level, the next yr. Web Als Toen’s music sounds extra romantic than its lyrics, a couple of failing marriage: the spouse complains her husband is fats, bald and drained; he wonders if she’s nonetheless alive. Good, vaguely Stéphane Grappelli-ish violin solo, although.
59. Riva – Rock Me (Yugoslavia, 1989)
One hesitates to garbage a rustic’s first Eurovision winner, however, alas, the tinny synth-bedecked Rock Me sounds just like the theme music from a low-budget late 80s daytime chatshow. Wikipedia claims its victory led to “worldwide consciousness of Yugoslav and Croatian rock”, which probably quantities to gilding the lily.
58. Lulu – Growth Bang-a-Bang (UK, 1969)
Lulu, whose tune for the UK, Growth Bang-a-Bang, shared the profitable slot with three different nations in 1969. {Photograph}: Radio Occasions/Getty Photographs
At least 4 nations needed to share the prize in 1969. Growth Bang-a-Bang, chosen by the British public in a vote that relegated a tune by the then-unknown Elton John and Bernie Taupin to final place, apparently a lot to the duo’s aid, sounded, in John’s subsequent estimation, “like one thing pissed Germans would slap their knees to in a Bavarian beer corridor”. He had some extent.
57. Bobbysocks! – Let It Swing (Norway, 1985)
There’s a distinct trace of Waterloo – nonetheless! Eleven years later! – concerning the galloping intro and sax-laden sound of Let It Swing, whereas the English lyrics provide the thought-provoking opening line “Take a look at me, I’m climbing up a ladder”. Previously members of Norway’s 1979 Eurovision entrants, the glamorously-named Chips.
56. Jacqueline Boyer – Tom Pillibi (France, 1960)
An early signal that Eurovision was as a lot about efficiency as tune, Tom Pillibi, with a smug titular character who seems like a distant relation of the man who thought the tune was about him in You’re So Useless, is ingratiatingly perky, however Jacqueline Boyer correctly bought it onstage, injecting a shocking quantity of flirtatious vitality.
55. Vicky Leandros – Après Toi (Luxembourg, 1972)
Vicky Leandros couldn’t have regarded extra Greek if she had come onstage with a bouzouki, then began smashing plates and shouting “opa!”, however her homeland didn’t, at this stage, take part in Eurovision, so she wound up representing Luxembourg with the (very) faintly country-inflected Après Toi: bog-standard early-70s Eurovision balladry, however subsequently a UK hit.
54. Måns Zelmerlöw – Heroes (Sweden, 2015)
Your enjoyment of Heroes could rely in your emotions about David Guetta’s model of pop home, which it resembles very carefully, particularly recalling his 2014 single Lovers on the Solar, with maybe a soupçon of Avicii’s Wake Me Up thrown into the combination. Not unhealthy, however surplus to necessities.
53. Brotherhood of Man – Save Your Kisses For Me (UK, 1976)
Brotherhood of Man seldom bothered to cover their debt to Abba – take heed to their 1977 hit Angelo subsequent to Fernando – however, even at their naffest, one suspects Björn and Benny would have balked on the cutesiness of Save Your Kisses For Me, with its accompanying dance routine and it’s-actually-about-a-toddler concluding twist.
52. André Claveau – Dors, Mon Amour (France, 1958)
By 1958, the tumult of rock’n’roll was raging all through Europe, not that you’d have seen inside Hilversum’s Avro Studio, the place André Claveau, a singer already in his late 40s, was taking over all-comers with the lullaby-like Dors, Mon Amour.
51. Carola – Fångad av en Stormvind (Sweden, 1991)
If you’re after proof of Eurovision’s tendency to lag behind the occasions, think about Fångad av en Stormvind, which has one thing of the Pointer Sisters’ 80s single I’m So Enthusiastic about its perky clipped rhythm and blaring synths and received 9 years after I’m So Excited was recorded.
50. Udo Jürgens – Merci, Cherie (Austria, 1966)
An enormous star in Germany, Udo Jürgens turned well-known by eschewing the nation’s most important easy-listening development of oompah-infused schlager in favour of a extra emotive, chanson-influenced fashion. Merci, Cherie is an efficient instance of what he did, full with a powerful vocal suggestive of moistening eyes and trembling lips.
49. Gigliola Cinquetti – No Ho L’età (Italy, 1964)
After the jazz-influenced pleasure of the earlier yr’s winner, Grethe and Jørgen Ingmann’s Dansevise, this goes again to the standard early Eurovision territory of ballads: No Ho L’età is a superior instance, replete with high-drama dynamic shifts and orchestration, in addition to a bizarre, reverb-heavy, relatively Joe Meek-esque impact on the rhythm monitor.
48. Teddy Scholten – Een Beetje (Netherlands, 1959)
The favourites in 1959 had been Britain’s Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson, who regarded as in the event that they had been on their solution to a golf membership dinner dance, with Sing Little Birdie, however they had been pipped by Een Beetje: equally upbeat, and thus fairly raffish by earlier Eurovision requirements, however crucially, and in contrast to Sing Little Birdie, not supernaturally annoying.
47. Lenny Kuhr – De Troubadour (Netherlands, 1969)
This the yr Eurovision went nuts: it was controversially held in Spain, then a fascist dictatorship; Salvador Dalí designed the publicity materials; 4 songs tied for first place, and folks music, not a style that the competition historically favours, made a uncommon mark with one in every of them, the gently fingerpicked acoustic guitar of De Troubadour.
46. Marie N – I Wanna (Latvia, 2002)
Disco-house that turns Latin American when it hits the refrain, like a reduce and shunt of Spiller’s Groovejet and Ricky Martin’s She Bangs. Maybe presentation was all right here: the efficiency featured a besuited Marie N performing a same-sex tango with a feminine dancer, earlier than whipping off her swimsuit to disclose a minidress.
45. Secret Backyard – Nocturne (Norway, 1995)
Nocturne’s victory heralded the arrival of the WTF? Eurovision winner: the handiwork of latest age duo Secret Backyard, who specialised in floaty background music instrumentals with a Celtic tinge, it’s a floaty background music instrumental with just a few strains of cod-operatic vocals thrown in in order that it adhered to Eurovision guidelines.
44. Toto Cutugno – Insieme: 1992 (Italy, 1990)
Ah, the timeless assured pop hit components that may be a energy ballad about European political integration. A vote winner three years earlier than the EU was established, it begins atmospheric, builds to a suitably rousing climax and, in accordance with on-line sources, was produced by somebody who went beneath the startling pseudonym of Quantity Two.
43. Sandie Shaw – Puppet on a String (UK, 1967)
Decried by Sandie Shaw herself as “sexist drivel” with a “cuckoo clock tune”, Puppet on a String was however large: it was, on the time, the biggest-selling single ever by a British feminine artist, which maybe says loads about 1967’s reactionary thirst for gran-friendly pop within the face of psychedelia’s alienating weirdness.
42. Linda Martin – Why Me? (Eire, 1992)
One other energy ballad, the songwriting handiwork of two-time Eurovision winner Johnny Logan, which kicked off the period of Eire dominating the competitors. If nothing else, it was a victory for persistence on the a part of Linda Martin, who entered the Eurovision contest a staggering 9 occasions.
41. Frida Boccara – Un Jour, Un Enfant (France, 1969)
This yr’s 4 joint winners provided a spread of music – schlager from Britain, folks from the Netherlands, easy-listening pop from Spain – however Un Jour, Un Enfant proved Eurovision’s urge for food for a Francophone ballad was as sturdy as within the late 50s: the orchestra surges and crashes, Frida Boccara’s vocal is the dictionary definition of giving 110%.
40. Dima Bilan – Consider (Russia, 2008)
This exposes the gulf in attitudes to Eurovision : the yr Britain despatched a runner-up from The X Issue, Russia’s entry was produced by visionary R&B auteur Timbaland and written by the co-author of Nelly Furtado’s Maneater. The large ballad Consider definitely isn’t on the record of Timbaland’s best productions, however nonetheless.
39. Salomé – Vivo Cantando (Spain, 1969)
With out wishing to sound unpatriotic, among the many tied winners of Eurovision 1969, this, relatively than the UK’s Growth-Bang-a-Bang, is the decide. Admittedly, the bar isn’t set terribly excessive, however Vivo Cantando’s false ballad opening, rattling congas and cries of “hey!” at the very least generate a gentle pleasure missing in Lulu’s dispiriting oompah frenzy.
38. Lena – Satellite tv for pc (Germany, 2010)
One other up to date pop development will get Eurovisionised, on this case, the post-Amy Winehouse/Lily Allen wave of non-specifically “retro” pop. Satellite tv for pc’s most evident comparability is likely to be Eliza Doolittle’s Pack Up; there’s the suspicion that Lena’s deeply bizarre accent is likely to be an try at mimicking the estuary English of Kate Nash that has gone wildly off piste.
37. Charlotte Nilsson – Take Me To Your Heaven (Sweden, 1999)
The purpose at which Eurovision started consuming itself: Take Me to Your Heaven is a campy, blatant homage to Abba, full with Waterloo-esque intro and sax, Dancing Queen piano and Agnetha and Anni Frid-style harmonies. It’s nowhere near the songwriting requirements Abba set, however Steps might have had a success with it.
36. Alexander Rybak – Fairytale (Norway, 2009)
The very best-scoring winner ever on the time, and bafflingly fashionable within the UK – it reached the Prime 10, a uncommon feat for a latterday Eurovision winner – Fairytale affords up a mix of folky violin, a thumping bass drum that weirdly presaged the sound of Mumford & Sons and gently oompah-infused Euro dance.
35. Séverine – Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue (Monaco, 1971)
A uncommon pre-Abba Eurovision winner that feels linked to up to date pop developments: triumphant melody hovering over a reasonably funky beat, it sounds not not like the British bubblegum pop, by White Plains or (the unique) Brotherhood of Man, that flooded the charts between the waning of the 60s and the rise of glam.
34. Johnny Logan – Maintain Me Now (Eire, 1987)
Logan’s second win, as soon as extra touting romantic distress in ballad kind – for causes that aren’t totally clear, it’s their final night time collectively and he’s angling for a tearful farewell shag – this time coupled to a mammoth sway-along lighters-aloft refrain and a definite trace of Chris de Burgh’s Girl in Crimson concerning the sound.
33. Jean-Claude Pascal – Nous Les Amoureux (Luxembourg, 1961)
In an indication of fixing occasions, Britain’s entry was Are You Certain? by the Allisons, who had evidently modelled themselves on the Everly Brothers. It was no match for Jean-Claude Pascal’s brooding, jazzy ballad, which was daring in one other means: Pascal was homosexual, and Nous Les Amoureux’s lyrics obliquely referred to a gay relationship.
32. Eimear Quinn – The Voice (Eire, 1996)
It’s noticeably completely different from something that had received Eurovision earlier than, and you’ll detect the affect of Kate Bush and Enya on The Voice, which wafts pleasantly alongside, tapping into the Riverdance-inspired vogue for conventional Irish music by means of its penny whistle and rumbling bodhráns.
31. Dana – All Sorts of The whole lot (Eire, 1970)
Nice Eurovision story: Irish schoolgirl trounces Spain’s entrant, Julio Iglesias, singing ballad with wide-eyed college meeting hymn lyrics: “seagulls and aeroplanes/issues of the sky”. Dana instantly fired her supervisor and launched into a profession that culminated in working for Irish president, suggesting she may need been steelier than she regarded.
30. Marie Myriam – L’Oiseau et l’Enfant (France, 1977)
Extra Eurovision scandal. Britain’s entry (and favorite to win), Lynsey de Paul and Mike Moran’s Rock Backside, a topical dispatch from a UK crippled by strikes and stagflation, was not supported by the BBC, which didn’t need to pay to host the occasion once more the next yr. L’Oiseau et l’Enfant, which was much less topical, though fairly sufficient – received as a substitute.
29. Sandra Kim – J’aime La Vie (Belgium 1986)
Maybe inevitably, the 80s Francophone vogue for what Serge Gainsbourg referred to as “lolycéennes” – feminine pop singers of their early teenagers – discovered its solution to Eurovision, though scandal ensued when it was found Sandra Kim was 13. The tune itself is child powder in musical kind, however fairly good, as synthy Euro bubblegum goes.
28. Lys Assia – Chorus (Switzerland, 1956)
The primary Eurovision winner was resolutely a product of the postwar, pre-rock’n’roll pop world: geared toward adults and devoid of modernity, it might have been made within the early Thirties. That stated, it’s a genuinely stunning tune with a stunning tune and sweeping orchestration and fashionable in a means that subsequent Eurovision winners wouldn’t at all times be.
27. Anne-Marie David – Tu Te Reconnaîtras (Luxembourg, 1973)
As soon as extra, one suspects, the UK thought it had victory within the bag due to Cliff Richard, unconvincingly espousing hippy sentiments (“energy to the bees”) 5 years too late on Energy to All Our Mates. It was catchy, however no match for Tu Te Reconnaîtras, equal elements chanson and massive Burt Bacharach-esque ballad.
26. Helena Paparizou – My Quantity One (Greece, 2005)
There’s a sense by which My Quantity One, Greece’s solitary Eurovision triumph, feels remarkably like a Hellenic tackle Turkey’s 2003 winner Each Approach That I Can: it has the same rhythm and dramatic strings, a stomach dancing interlude changed with a burst of choreographed sirtaki, and conventional Turkish devices courtesy of the bouzouki and Cretan lyre.
25. Corinne Hermès – Si La Vie Est Cadeau (Luxembourg, 1983)
Through which the standard Eurovision French-language massive ballad will get an 80s improve: the drums increase, dampened guitars chug, the sproing of the fretless bass is far in proof and Corinne Hermès herself sported massive hair and shoulder-pads you may land a helicopter on. As a rebooted instance of sort, it’s not unhealthy.
24. Kalush Orchestra – Stefania (Ukraine, 2022)
British audiences appeared to take it as learn that Sam Ryder’s Area Man had actually received the 2022 contest and that the precise winner was the recipient of a sympathy vote following the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Area Man is certainly the extra memorable tune, however Stefania’s mixture of people tune and hip-hop is hardly a shame.
23. Emmelie de Forest – Solely Teardrops (Denmark, 2013)
One other winner so melodically tight that it appears it was written by exactly the sort of blue-chip songwriters who churn out bulletproof hits for main artists, with solely the unlucky preponderance of a penny whistle – which a blue-chip songwriter would have struck out as too naff – to mark it out as Eurovision fodder.
22. Massiel – La, La, La (Spain, 1968)
Who might resist the jaunty charms of Britain’s 1968 entry, Cliff Richard’s Congratulations? Clearly somebody might: one level clinched it for Massiel. Setting a precedent for British sore loserdom in Eurovision, Congratulations’ co-writer, Invoice Martin, instantly decried La, La, La as “garbage”; the truth is, it’s a stylish instance of mid-tempo late-60s straightforward listening.
21. Céline Dion – Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi (Switzerland, 1988)
A Eurovision winner of two halves: Céline Dion’s efficiency has the showstopping high quality that will subsequently make her a world megastar and the tune is melodically sturdy, however there’s something a bit naff concerning the manufacturing’s preponderance of Syndrums – already an anachronism by 1988 – and the shift in tempo on the refrain.
20. Bucks Fizz – Making Your Thoughts Up (UK, 1981)
Regardless of their cruise-ship picture, Bucks Fizz in the end launched higher singles: the jittery My Digicam By no means Lies is genuinely worthy of reappraisal. However, even divorced from its celebrated dance routine, Making Your Thoughts Up – an replace of the vaguely rock’n’roll influenced fashion of Racey – has a sure puppy-dog vitality.
19. Marija Šerifović – Molitva (Serbia, 2007)
Marija Šerifović was Eurovision’s reply to the sort of rock star who goes on about authenticity: “I like to listen to music, not watch it,” she proclaimed, eschewing visible gimmicks in favour of a dressed-down efficiency. Molitva was a really sturdy ballad: had the lyrics been in English, it would even have been a success within the UK.
18. Måneskin – Zitti e Buoni (Italy, 2021)
Two members of Måneskin carry out within the Netherlands on the sixty fifth Eurovision tune contest. {Photograph}: Hollandse Hoogte/Rex/Shutterstock
If nobody might have predicted that Måneskin would spin out a profession from Eurovision that’s nonetheless filling stadiums two years on, you possibly can see why Zitti e Buoni stood out: tight, Crimson Sizzling Chili Peppers-influenced onerous rock that doesn’t sound like a novelty or a rock band dumbing down for the competition.
17. Johnny Logan – What’s One other Yr? (Eire, 1980)
Time has been surprisingly variety to a ballad that appeared unbearably drippy when it changed Geno by Dexys Midnight Runners as UK No 1, in a chart in any other case dominated by the thrilling sound of two-tone. Forty years on, it sounds oddly charming, in a shiny, massive sax solo, 3am-on-Mellow Magic means.
16. Salvador Sobral – Amar Pelos Dois (Portugal, 2017)
Maybe the success of La La Land and its soundtrack paved the best way for 2017’s sudden Eurovision winner, an impressively subtle jazz piano ballad, the vocal influenced by Chet Baker, that might have pre-dated the Eurovision contest itself. Maybe it merely stood out, a second of calm amid the glittery mayhem.
15. Dana Worldwide – Diva (Israel, 1998)
In a single sense at the very least, the competition proved wildly forward of the curve: 24 years earlier than Kim Petras turned the primary trans girl to prime the US chart, a trans girl received Eurovision. The tune itself is standard-issue homosexual membership Euro-house banger, of a bit with the hi-NRG remixes and covers churned out by Almighty Information.
14. Ell & Nikki – Working Scared (Azerbaijan, 2011)
It’s onerous not really feel that the taint of Eurovision may need scuppered Working Scared’s probabilities as a success single within the UK: definitely, its pretty melody and sound – thick layers of synth, with a Coldplay-ish stadium ballad at its centre – are totally as much as British chart requirements. As an alternative, it struggled to No 61.
13. Ruslana – Wild Dances (Ukraine, 2004)
Wild Dances opens with the trembita, a Ukranian alpine horn that sounds just like the noise an elephant would make earlier than trampling you to loss of life, however the remaining isn’t as subtly understated: booming drums, rock guitar, ululating vocals, acid home synth, glammy shouts of “hey!” It’s additionally filled with melodic hooks: daft, however weirdly irresistible.
12. Katrina and the Waves – Love Shine a Gentle (UK, 1997)
After pausing to contemplate the unlikely profession of songwriter Kimberley Rew, who went from punky psychedelicists the Gentle Boys – authors of (I Wish to Be An) Anglepoise Lamp and Sandra’s Having Her Mind Out – to penning a Eurovision winner, allow us to word that Love Shine a Gentle is fairly good: subtly anthemic, bolstered by a heat Hammond organ.
11. Isabelle Aubret – Un Premier Amour (France, 1962)
One other early Eurovision triumph for a ballad, however it’s product of noticeably richer stuff than earlier winners: darker, extra atmospheric, its temper haunted relatively than nostalgic. Listeners of a sure age could also be unable to listen to its opening notes with out assuming they’re listening to the outdated Thames TV ident.
10. Niamh Kavanagh – In Your Eyes (Eire, 1993)
Good pub quiz reality: the important thing change throughout In Your Eyes was recommended by Idina Menzel, now finest referred to as the voice of Elsa in Frozen and the singer of the inescapable Let It Go. In Your Eyes is certainly a reduce above your common Eurovision ballad, aided by Kavanagh’s impressively gutsy voice.
9. Conchita Wurst – Rise Like a Phoenix (Austria, 2014)
It’s tempting to recommend that Rise Like a Phoenix’s author had been paying shut consideration to Adele’s Skyfall earlier than penning their very own cinematic ballad, however Conchita Wurst’s efficiency, which was concurrently heartfelt and OTT, bought it. Russian homophobes had been so upset by the entire enterprise, they demanded Eurasian nations break free and begin their very own contest.
8. Lordi – Arduous Rock Hallelujah (Finland, 2006)
Appealingly ridiculous … Lordi on the costume rehearsal for the 2006 Eurovision ultimate. {Photograph}: Dimitris Legakis/Rex Options
Clearly novelty worth had a task within the Eurovision victory of Finland’s reply to Kiss. However Lordi had been already platinum-sellers at dwelling after they received the 2006 competitors, and Arduous Rock Hallelujah is each appealingly ridiculous and in on the gag, skilfully mixing a glam metallic melody with Dio-like wails and a succession of daft puns.
7. Train-In – Ding-a-Dong (Netherlands, 1975)
Proof of Abba’s speedy influence on Eurovision: with its You Maintain Me Hanging On-ish guitar hook, Ding-a-Dong is comparatively hip and vibrant-sounding. Its alarming English lyrics however (“every thing is humorous if you stroll alongside along with your ding-dang-dong”), it is usually extremely charming, and Edwyn Collins’ 1998 cowl is unbelievable.
6. Sertab Erener – Each Approach That I Can (Turkey, 2003)
From the early 00s, you possibly can hear up to date pop developments being Eurovisionised: Each Approach That I Can seems like Holly Valance’s 2002 hit Kiss Kiss, though belly-dancing vocalist Sertab Erener would likely argue the melody has roots in conventional Turkish music. The rhythm in the meantime mimics the jittery R&B of Future’s Little one’s Jumpin’ Jumpin’.
5. Grethe and Jørgen Ingmann – Dansevise (Denmark, 1963)
The primary sufferer of an alleged bloc-voting scandal – did Norway alter their vote so Switzerland would lose? – however Dansevise deserves to be remembered for greater than that. Subtle, jazz-inspired – you possibly can hear the affect of the Dave Brubeck Quartet’s Take 5 on its melody – and massive on twangy guitar, it’s genuinely nice.
4. Loreen – Euphoria (Sweden, 2012)
Perversely, when Eurovision entries began turning into pretty much as good because the pop singles that get within the charts, the competitors misplaced a few of its attraction: a part of the attraction was ready to see one thing wrong-footed or bizarre. However you possibly can’t argue with the glistening EDM pop of Euphoria, full with killer earworm refrain.
3. Jamala – 1944 (Ukraine, 2016)
The lyrics of 1944, concerning the ethnic cleaning of Crimean Tartars by Stalin, prompted controversy: Russian politicians complained that it was linked to Russia’s 2014 annexation of Crimea. However it will be an authentically unbelievable monitor no matter it was about: understated and moodily atmospheric, a rhythm influenced by two-step storage, nice refrain.
2. France Gall – Poupée de Cire, Poupée de Son (Luxembourg, 1965)
Serge Gainsbourg had a bizarre relationship with 60s pop: right here, France Gall seems to be singing about being a brainless puppet, her followers hoodwinked idiots. Meta critique of the music trade, or simply nasty sarcasm? Both means, the melody is wonderful, its pressing rhythm and Gall’s uncooked vocal thrilling.
1. Abba – Waterloo (Sweden, 1974)
A couple of years in the past, all the 1974 Eurovision Music Contest was posted on BBC iPlayer. It was virtually price watching, partly due to the efficiency of favourites, Dutch duo Mouth and MacNeal – Mouth specifically exudes the spectacularly irritating smugness of a person who thinks voting is merely a formality – however principally to see Waterloo in context. Hopelessly overfamiliar it could be right this moment however, amid the opposite entries, it appears like a bomb going off. Eurovision had tended to lag desperately behind developments in pop, however Waterloo felt present, audibly influenced by glam, particularly the sound of Roy Wooden’s Wizzard: pop historical past was made.
This weekend, for the primary time since 1998, the UK is internet hosting Eurovision (on behalf of final 12 months’s champions, Ukraine). The competition and its semi-finals are being held in Liverpool. However how a lot are you aware about this 12 months’s artists, the connections between Eurovision and Liverpool, and the UK’s historical past within the competitors? Take our quiz to fin Theut.
The Guardian’s Eurovision 2023 quiz
Should you suppose there was an egregious error in one of many questions or solutions, please e mail martin. belam@theguardian. Com – however keep in mind that the quizmaster’s phrase is closing and he’s most likely busy revising To be able to stay weblog the fInal.
Loreen – Tattoo With a fringe so highly effective it made Claudia Winkleman’s look meek and retiring, Loreen won the Eurovision song contest in 2012 with Euphoria, which has an excellent declare to be the competitors’s biggest music of all time. Tectonic plates have collided with larger dynamic subtlety however Loreen’s beseeching vocal was electrical, even transferring and her crab dance turned the stuff of legend.
Now she is again to attempt to turn into the primary girl to win twice, and the bookies assume she has it sewn up already. The perimeter is a bit more feathered – didn’t her stylists know the story of Samson? – and Tattoo is possibly 10% much less formidable than Euphoria, however nonetheless: Loreen’s voice stays sensational, going from breathy mids to adrenaline-pumping highs and she or he has the superhuman stage presence of a Gaga or Beyoncé. A real pop star and a noticeable reduce above the remainder.
Finland
Käärijä – Cha Cha Cha Loreen is a really powerful act to beat, but when anybody can do it, it’s Käärijä: he has the laborious stare and bowl reduce of a Berlin intercourse membership bouncer and his music is by some mark the most effective this yr. An unhinged mashup of trance, anarcho-punk and glam steel about how spiritually fulfilling it’s to get extraordinarily drunk, it bludgeons you with two minutes of pure cartoon violence earlier than dropping a refrain of fully wondrous pop perfection. The sector crowd – particularly these from north-west England, the religious house of laborious dance – will completely lose their minds to this.
Ukraine
Tvorchi – Coronary heart of Metal The cheers may even be deafening when Tvorchi start: this contest rightfully belongs in Ukraine after Kalush Orchestra gained final yr. That win was secured because of voter solidarity – which may very simply occur once more – however in a traditional yr Kalush Orchestra’s stirring, showboating folk-pop banger Stefania may simply have triumphed anyway, and it continued an excellent run for Ukraine since they arrived in 2003: qualifying for the ultimate yearly, they’ve netted 11 High 10 placings together with three wins and two runner-up spots. With a funkily bumping Flume-esque beat, Coronary heart of Metal was impressed by the siege of the Azovstal metal works and whereas the duo can’t be too didactic because of Eurovision’s guidelines on political expression, the music’s themes of cussed resolve and self-definition (“Typically you simply gotta know / When to stay your center finger up within the air”) are as clear as day.
Austria
Teya & Salena – Who the Hell is Edgar? These are the opening traces of Who the Hell is Edgar?:
There’s a ghost in my physique And he’s a lyricist It’s Edgar Allan Poe And I feel he can’t resist
You’ve got my consideration, Teya & Salena. Pray proceed. Ah, your music is about being possessed by the spirit of Edgar Allan Poe who compels you to jot down gothic pop lyrics and carries you to a serious label recording contract? And your extremely catchy refrain goes “Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Edgar Allan, Edgar Allan Poe”? Douzeiest douze factors ever.
Poland
Blanka – Solo Right here’s some Euro-tropical ska that’s about as authentically Caribbean as a tax exile within the Cayman Islands, however it’s cheerful sufficient. Blanka may even win the “dad hovering awkwardly in the lounge doorway” vote, whereas different regulation hotties embrace Cyprus stud Andrew Lambrou whose music is a bit Unimaginative Dragons; Italy’s Marco Mengoni who you sense is telling you one thing very passionate concerning the gentle in your eyes; and Israel’s Noa Kirel who does an impressively athletic dance routine that’s like Flashdance in excessive heels, however her music’s actual attraction is the solely honest declare within the refrain: “I acquired the ability of a unicorn.”
Croatia
Let 3 – Mama ŠČ
Whether or not it’s dancing grannies for Russia or unicycling gnomes for Moldova, Eurovision wants moments that make you’re feeling as if your mid-contest Chocolate Orange has been laced with psilocybin. Croatia deliver that vibe this yr with a punk group who costume up as lipstick-smeared totalitarian dictators, with one in every of them driving a sit-on lawnmower. Mama ŠČ has the easy catchiness of a nursery rhyme, however it homes one of many political allegories that sometimes flies below the radar of the ostensibly apolitical Eurovision: the tractor within the lyrics is symbolic of how Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko – who as soon as gave Putin a tractor as a birthday current – aided Russia of their battle on Ukraine. Fairly extra prosaic anti-war messaging comes from Switzerland’s Remo Forrer and his dull-but-sturdy Watergun (“I don’t wanna be a soldier, soldier / I don’t wanna must play with actual blood”).
Armenia
Brunette – Future Lover The guiltiest pleasure of Eurovision for British individuals is laughing on the English-language lyrics of rival nations. It’s not massive, it’s not intelligent and it’s in all probability a symptom of our totally pathetic post-imperial smugness. However nonetheless, Future Lover rhymes “likes me sufficient to kiss my face” with “cute little issues, like drink smoothies at close to cafes”. The lyrics really find yourself being significantly better than the generically uplifting poetry that’s typically at Eurovision – Brunette quickly delivers a fraught high-speed rap as her anxiousness to search out love consumes her.
Denmark
Reiley – Breaking My Coronary heart Eurovision can typically really feel prefer it’s enjoying catchup to the massive UK-US pop tendencies of a few years earlier than, however Reiley is without doubt one of the entrants who feels as if they really come from 2023. His music overtly rips off each I’m So Drained by Lauv and Troye Sivan and the vocal results of Francis and the Lights – however his beautiful falsetto makes it an efficient heist, and his androgynous magnificence could have tweens frantically mashing the voting app.
Moldova
Pasha Parfeni – Soarele şi Luna
With an antler-wearing priestess, a masked flute-playing dwarf and ethereal twins doing backing vocals whereas gazing into mirrors, Moldova get a full home for A24 folk-horror bingo with this very good pounding observe. Clearly influenced by the final two Ukrainian entries, which have blended folks components with techno and hip-hop respectively, the pagan-robed Pasha Parfeni sings in Romanian “the solar and the moon will maintain our wedding ceremony crown” earlier than a hoe-down and blood sacrifice (latter implied). Parfeni is a Eurovision lifer who represented Moldova in 2012, co-wrote and performed piano for his or her 2013 entry, and has put himself ahead 4 different instances however his mum presumably instructed the organisers to let another person have a go.
Norway
Alessandra – Queen of Kings One other folkloric be-robed anthem right here – pattern alert! – with Alessandra telling a Sport of Thrones-type story of an all-conquering queen rampaging throughout the “north and southern seas” and leaving a path of Nordic symbols and girlboss signifiers in her wake: “A firestone, solid in flames / Wildest card, run the sport”. The grog-chugging heartiness of a sea shanty performed with the drum programming of an Ibizan tech-house producer, Queen of Kings will whip up a storm within the area, and alongside Loreen’s Tattoo has already turn into a multimillion-streaming hit.
Serbia
Luke Black – Samo Mi Se Spava The 31 acts exterior the Large 5 nations who routinely make the ultimate because of their monetary assist – France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the UK – must make it by way of semi-finals on Tuesday and Thursday. Luke Black could wrestle on condition that his music is extra of a dramatic studying than a present of melodic vocal prowess, however it’s extra fascinating than most: a 9 Inch Nails-style cyberpunk observe about nihilism and apathy within the face of a collapsing planet. The staging is nice – Black rants “battle, violence, rage, virus” in Serbian as he disassembles zombie-replicant backing dancers – and his camply evil giggles, groans and stares are the stuff of memes.
Spain
Blanca Paloma: Eaea As one of many Large 5, Spain can afford to experiment (a tactic that the UK by the way by no means opts for) and ship a daring and interesting entry this yr. The affect of Spanish famous person Rosalía is apparent in how this music updates flamenco with analogue-techno results percolating far off within the combine, and within the keening, near-ululated supply of Paloma, who has this yr’s most fascinating vocal timbre. There’s no actual tune per se, however the music wraps round you want a fluttering bolt of fabric. Eurovision eagerly tells us her songwriting is “primarily based on the concept of a ceremony or ceremony that connects us with what’s pre-rational and instinctive; by way of experimentation and expertise, Blanca seeks to discover the elements of our soul that transcend phrases. As a toddler, Blanca raised a duck in her bathtub.” OK, thanks for that.
Germany
Lord of the Misplaced – Blood & Glitter
Australia’s Voyager do have a really entertaining guitar v keytar solo-off of their music Promise, however of the heavy rock entries this yr Lord of the Misplaced have the sting. Think about Nick Cave or Future Islands auditioning for a Broadway musical about Kiss and also you’re type of there with the lead singer, whereas the “pyow! Pyow!” synth noises are brilliantly silly.
United Kingdom
Mae Muller – I Wrote a Song The UK was very a lot the Millwall FC of Eurovision in that everybody hated us and we didn’t care, till final yr, when Sam Ryder’s stratospherically uplifting House Man carried us to second place. Seems we simply wanted an excellent music, and we’ve got one other one this yr – although not fairly in the identical league. The clever-clever metatextuality of I Wrote a Tune is offset by probably the most historically Europop backing of the yr, and a canny wordless refrain; Muller does the most effective “strutting round with the girlies performing such as you don’t care about your breakup if you really type of do” since Dua Lipa in New Guidelines. Alongside Loreen and Noa Kirel, it’s correct pop, and as she’s closing the present, Muller will hopefully surf a good wave of votes.
In January, pop star Mae Muller wrote a music she thought can be excellent for Eurovision. Just a few days later one among her managers referred to as asking for an pressing assembly over a cup of tea. “I used to be apprehensive my profession was over!” the 25-year-old north Londoner laughs. “Then he stated ‘what do you concentrate on doing Eurovision?’. He had an entire PowerPoint presentation with all of the statistics, and I used to be like ‘hun, I’m all in’. The Eurovision gods should have been talking to me as a result of I already had the music.”
The music in query is Muller’s catchy, Dua Lipa-esque I Wrote a Track, a bolshy meta-hit about channelling anger at an ex into pop poetry. Muller’s intestine instincts had been proper: it does certainly tick quite a lot of Eurovision packing containers. “Firstly it’s a bop, you possibly can dance to it, it’s straightforward to sing alongside to,” lists Muller. “And it doesn’t matter what language you communicate, everybody can sing the ‘da da da da da’ bit,” she provides, referencing the music’s earworm post-chorus.
The Eurovision gods Muller was unwittingly praying to have been shining on the UK extra kindly of late. Final yr, radiantly coiffured TikTok sensation Sam Ryder and his windswept energy ballad Area Man completed second behind Ukraine, whereas cool-adjacent latest Eurovision success tales equivalent to Sweden’s Loreen (the favorite to win once more this yr) and Italian acts equivalent to Mahmood and 2021 winners Måneskin (who not too long ago scored a UK Prime 5 album and headline London’s O2 Area subsequent week), have heralded a wave of Eurovision positivity on these shores. All of it means expectations for Muller’s efficiency are sky excessive. Issues have definitely began properly: I Wrote a Track peaked contained in the UK Prime 40 in March, making it the primary single by a UK Eurovision entrant to take action on launch week since Blue’s I Can in 2011.
“We’re very totally different artists,” Muller says of the pressures of following in Ryder’s footsteps. “What’s comparable is that we each have a constructive message [in our songs], however we now have various things to say and we’ve gone by various things. However him doing so properly final yr might solely ever be a superb factor.” The puppy-like Ryder has been in contact with recommendation: “He despatched me a voice notice encouraging me to try to take every day because it comes and benefit from the second. I don’t wish to look again and want I’d loved it a bit extra.”
Muller – who has been releasing music since 2018, and was obsessive about Eurovision as a toddler, particularly 2007’s Steps-lite duds Scooch – may even have the additional strain of acting on house turf, with subsequent weekend’s Eurovision being held in Liverpool because of the ongoing Russian invasion in Ukraine. “Bodily it’s within the UK however in all of our hearts and minds it’s Ukraine’s yr,” she says. “However I do really feel it additional highlights that regardless of what’s going on on the earth we will come collectively. Eurovision is simply the most important secure area on the planet,” she provides. “Everybody’s so completely satisfied to be there and be themselves. It brings you again to the very fact we’re all simply people on a rock.”
Muller, who chooses her phrases rigorously when speaking about Eurovision, could be very conscious of the escapist competitors’s apolitical status. “Whenever you join you must respect the way it works,” she says. “However at first of the Eurovision journey I used to be nervous; I didn’t know what to say. I’m a 25-year-old lady who sings about heartbreak and boys being annoying. I don’t assume anybody is anticipating any of us to find out about all the pieces that’s happening on the earth, however you must know sufficient.”
That’s to not say Muller hasn’t voiced her political views up to now. In early April the Telegraph dug up a few of her tweets from 2020 wherein she criticised the then Prime Minister Boris Johnson – “Taking on a mattress in intensive care however you’re not on a ventilator and in ‘excessive spirits’? Nah mate,” one learn – and ran a narrative with the headline “British Eurovision entrant is anti-Boris Johnson Left-wing activist”. GB Information, in the meantime, noticed it as a motive to query the BBC’s political impartiality, with Jacob Rees-Mogg claiming it made the broadcaster look “characteristically silly”. Muller is adamant her tweets had been taken out of context, however typically appears unbothered by the furore. “I really feel actually fortunate that I reside in a spot the place as a younger lady I can say how I really feel,” she says.
Assembly King Charles and Camilla in Liverpool in April. {Photograph}: Phil Noble/AP
The highlighting of one other tweet upset her extra, with articles written concerning the reality she had stated she hated the UK whereas discussing the row over free college meals. “The truth that I felt so strongly is as a result of I completely adore the place I’m from,” she says, her often vivid manner momentarily darkening. “I like the individuals, I like its range, I like its inclusivity, but additionally nowhere’s excellent. We’ve got work to do. The UK deserves one of the best and generally once I really feel like that’s not occurring I get obsessed with it.”
Muller’s fearlessness is refreshing and aligns her with outspoken 00s pop stars equivalent to Lily Allen. “I’ve at all times stated I don’t wish to really feel like this unobtainable, far-off thriller,” she says. “I need individuals to really feel like they know me. Like I’m a pal.” It was Allen’s conversational storytelling, and the extra fantastical Florence Welch, who impressed Muller to begin songwriting, with the ensuing songs carried out in entrance of her (typically reticent) household: “I used to be like ‘all people come right here, I’ve written a music and I’m going to carry out it now’,” she laughs. “I at all times cherished to write down.” In actual fact, a part of the explanation she wished to make a music referred to as I Wrote a Track was as a tongue-in-cheek reminderthat she’s not simply handed her songs by others: “[At the start of my career] I used to really feel like I needed to show myself.”
It’s an added strain felt by most of Muller’s feminine contemporaries, who all appear to have further hoops to leap by in contrast with their male counterparts. Whereas male pop stars equivalent to Tom Grennan can launch albums with regularity, Raye, L Devine and Gracey have all not too long ago left their main label properties after struggling to get their debut albums launched. Others together with Becky Hill and Ella Henderson have needed to launch a seemingly infinite stream of dance collaborations as a way to be seen and heard. In actual fact, Muller’s largest hit globally is 2021’s Higher Days, a collaboration with Swedish producers Neiked reaching almost 400m streams on Spotify alone.
Muller’s debut album, which she says has been prepared for years, is now scheduled to reach later this yr. “I actually wished to only get the album out, and we had a date, then clearly Eurovision got here alongside and each single date within the calendar bought scrapped. Which is okay, as a result of hopefully extra individuals will get to hearken to it now.” She says her label, EMI, by no means rushed her or stated “you’re by no means releasing an album!” however she admits that her prolonged journey so far “was not how I envisioned it in the beginning of my profession – however that was six years in the past and instances modified,” she shrugs.
So ideas of debut albums have to attend. For now, whereas she’s targeted on taking it day-to-day, she will be able to’t assist however speculate about subsequent weekend’s date with future in Liverpool, the place she’ll be closing the present. “A Prime 5 putting is the dream, however I’ll be pleased with Prime 10,” she says cheerily. “I actually imagine within the music, the staging is wonderful, the choreo is nice, so it’s simply all the way down to me. I can’t mess it up.” She shakes off the self-doubt. “I received’t mess it up. So long as I stroll off that stage pondering ‘that’s one of the best I’ve ever finished it and I had enjoyable’ then I’ll be completely satisfied.”
